I remember when I was pregnant with Finn that I had this expectation that breastfeeding would be easy. That it would just come naturally to new mums and that I could do it for as long as I felt I could.
Yeah, I was naive. I was also young and didn’t have a lot of experience around new mums nor did I hear much about breastfeeding until I had him.
In my case, I was lucky. Finn took to the breast immediately after birth and I thought “yeah, we got this”. I remember a bit of pressure to breastfeed in hospital but I think because it happened instantly for me that I missed out on some of the terrible pressure from some nurses and midwives to breastfeed like many of my friends had received.
My milk came in quickly and things were going smoothly, until we got home. I started to get an awful pain in my breasts and every time he fed it would feel like sharp knives piecing my boobs. It was horrific and I would often cry during feeds from the pain. After help from my midwife with his latch, we soon realised I had thrush and we both had to be treated until it was gone. In the meantime, I had to keep feeding through the pain and I dreaded every feed because of how bad it was but I equally didn’t want to give up because I am stubborn as hell.
So I persisted for about two weeks and eventually we were in the clear and the pain had gone and breastfeeding started to be a wonderful bonding moment between my son and I.
However, although our feeding journey was back on track there was another part that was equally as hard for me and that was the frequency. Finn was feeding every hour day and night and I literally felt like a walking, talking cow. I was getting hardly any sleep and I felt like I couldn’t keep up. When Finn was around 3-4 months of age, I gave in and introduced one bottle of formula at night time just so he would get full and sleep a bit longer and I could start to feel human again. I was beaten. Exhausted both physically and emotionally and I couldn’t go on like I was. I continued breastfeeding until he was 10 months old but I remember I felt mum guilt that I had to supplement when really I should have been damn proud of myself for getting to where I did.
This time with Leo, I have had similar issues to what I had with Finn. Leo has had no problems taking to the boob and is feeding well. However, my boobs were excruciatingly sore for the first week. I was in fear that the thrush was coming back again but I was on top of it quickly and with a mixture of nipple creams and cold breast pads, I managed to avoid it and reheal them. However, again I just had to push through the pain.
Now three weeks in and I am starting to feel like I can’t keep up again and wondering if my milk supply is struggling. Leo is feeding every hour and sometimes cluster feeds for hours at a time and sleep for me is scarce. I felt like he wasn’t getting enough but a recent weigh in with the midwife showed a huge weight gain and I realised he was getting plenty of milk and likely going through a growth spurt.
Although I’m happy he’s getting plenty of milk and I am reassured that my supply is OK, it still doesn’t make the frequent feeding any easier. Again it is something that I am just going to have to push through because I am determined to exclusively breastfeed for as long as I can as I treasure the bond and it has finally become less painful.
For those who choose to breastfeed, a nursing pillow is an absolute must and my Milkbar from Fertile Mind is perfect. It is not overly bulky that it takes up too much room but supports baby just nicely and at the perfect height for feeding. It also has a zip-off washable cover and inner pillow for the inevitable times bub throws some milk back at you!
Using the pillow allows me to feel comfortable and relaxed which is incredibly important when feeding and also gives me free hands to stroke his little head and indulge in his newborn goodness.
The pillow comes in a range of different colours including pink, blue and sand. It retails at $69.95, which is very affordable compared to many on the market.
Fertile Mind also have the best nursing bra that I have lived in these past few weeks (and probably should wash more often). It’s extremely comfortable, supportive and easy to un-clip for those feeding marathons. You can find it on the website here.
Overall, my message here is is that breastfeeding won’t be easy for everyone and you shouldn’t feel inadequate if you are struggling because most of us do! It doesn’t come naturally and can definitely be a process of hard work and persistence (or just a stubborn nature like me!). However, I can tell you that once you’ve pushed through those first weeks, it will become the most beautiful bonding experience between you and bub. They will look up at you with pure love in their eyes as if to say “thanks mum!”. I remember Finn used to stroke my chest for comfort and it was the sweetest thing and I’ll often sing to Leo and talk about what he will be like when he grows up.
Most importantly it should be a stress free bonding experience. There is no point in having an overwhelmed anxious mama at breaking point just so she can breastfeed her baby. Don’t feel guilty if you can’t do it any longer. A fed baby is a happy baby, no matter how they are nourished and I know plenty of formula fed bubs who are now very healthy children.
It is a personal journey and is different for each and every one of us. Don’t let someone else or mum guilt determine yours. ❤
A few tips if you decide to breastfeed
Invest in a good nursing pillow. You won’t regret it, especially for those nighttime feeds. Check out my Milkbar here
Get a good nursing bra. The ease of being able to clip and un-clip for feeds makes life a lot easier and comfort is of utmost importance.
Stock up on breast pads! There will be a lot of leakage and you want to avoid big wet spots on your tops!
Get some nipple cream and cold breast discs for cracked nipples.
Feed on demand. Believe me I know how hard it is but if you feed your baby when he/she is hungry it will keep your milk supply up.
Boost you milk supply with my lactation cookie recipe here
Try and relax! I know it is easy said than done but try and enjoy it. You will get there mama.
xoxo
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Daisy Strahl says
how did you treat your thrush?
sarah.lamont@hotmail.com says
Hi Daisy, there is a topical cream available from the pharmacy and you have to treat yourself and bubs as well until it goes away. xx