It’s a scene that has occurred several times since Leo was born. I have been trying to get him to sleep (this seems to be in most of my posts because my kid never sleeps!) and I can hear Finn happily playing with his toys in the next room and my heart breaks.
It’s at those moments that I realise just how much I miss my firstborn. I knew I would. I even wrote a letter to him on the blog when I was pregnant telling him how much I would miss him and it’s so true.
Don’t get me wrong. I have absolutely adored having a new baby and my love for Leo was like experiencing what I did when I had Finn, all over again. Giving Finn a sibling was the best thing I could have done for him but equally so he has missed out on so much quality time with me because I’ve been either breastfeeding or rocking Leo to sleep. It has meant that he has had more time with dad and that’s been wonderful to see but he misses mum and I miss him.
He has handled having a new baby so well. He never gets jealous and is always there to lend a helping hand but he’s also a kid that needs a lot of stimulation and loves to interact and have our attention all the time so he has struggled with not being able to have that as much as he used too. In fact, up until last month I had probably only had proper one on one time with him two or three times since Leo was born. Every time we go out is with Leo and often that means our chats are interrupted or I’m stressed out trying to organise them both and I don’t want our time together to be stressful.
So, recently I said to Chance we need to make one on one time with him a regular occurrence with no exceptions and it’s been so important for him as well. At the moment with our working schedule, we only get one day off together as a family and we love to spend that day together.However every fortnight that day also includes an hour or so where we spend just with Finn and it has to be out of the house. For example, I took him out for brunch last weekend (our favourite thing to do) and we had pancakes and had a good old chat about life.I loved hearing about day care and all his friends without any interruptions and I could tell how much it meant to him to have my undivided attention. Other things we have planned are a movie and Science works and a hot chocolate date.
While I was doing this, Chance got to have one on one time with Leo which is great because he doesn’t get enough of that while Leo is so young and reliant on me. In the afternoon we swap and Chance does something with Finn and I’ll have Leo.
As much as our kids love having siblings to play with and spending time as a family I equally think having one on one time with us is so important for their overall well-being. It’s also hugely important for us as parents to spend time with them as individuals and connect with them uninterrupted to hear their thoughts and allow them to tell us what is going on in their lives. It’s amazing how much you can learn and what you may have missed (which will break your heart!) and that’s why it’s important to make it a regular thing. As Leo gets older he will also have that same one on one time with each of us and we will do it the same way as we do now with each have an hour of so with each child on our day off together every fortnight and the rest of our time can be spent as a family.
Do you have one on one time with your kids? What’s your little thing you love to do with them? Our favourite is brunch!
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