Let me start off by saying I am more than grateful that I have been able to breastfeed as long as I have. I know a lot of mums struggle to breastfeed (and I did in the beginning) but I think people sometimes misconstrue a good old moan for being ungrateful and that’s simply untrue. Parenting in general has its up and downs and we will forever love our children but there will be plenty of times we just need a good old bitch!
Breastfeeding for me has been a love/hate relationship. I always knew I wanted to do it from the beginning because I was forever told that breast is best. I was lucky enough to have my milk come in pretty quickly after both my babies were born and also that they latched on with no troubles.
However, shortly after having Finn I developed breastfeeding thrush and it was excruciating. I could only describe it as stabbing needles in my boobs every time I fed and I was feeding 1.5-2 hourly. I got it again with Leo and let me tell you, that would have been enough reason to give up then and there but I persevered through the pain and applied a tonne of soothing gels, ointments and cabbage leaves to get rid of it as quickly as possible (it lasted over two weeks!).
With Finn, I exclusively breastfed until around 4 months and then introduced a bottle of formula because I just couldn’t keep up. He was feeding so constantly that I was exhausted as well as dealing with anxiety so I gave in. I felt guilty but ultimately it was the best thing for me as a brand new mum. I continued to breastfeed with formula up until around 10 months.
With Leo, I have been exclusively breastfeeding the whole way and I am down right proud of myself but it has not been easy. I have aimed to feed him up until he is one (which is two weeks!!) and then I will slowly reduce his feeds and introduce some form of milk as he is able to have it. I am not going to stop cold-turkey but for me, one year is enough and being back at work definitely enforces it. I will still do morning and night feeds until he gradually weans himself off but I will be able to get some of myself back from not having to express every day or spend my entire lunch break at day care feeding him.
As our breastfeeding relationship nears an end, let me tell you a few things I LOVE and DON’T like about breastfeeding below and I am sure you can relate.
What I LOVE:
The bond– Breastfeeding creates an amazing bond between a mother and their child. There’s nothing sweeter than the way they stare in to your eyes the whole time to say “thanks mum!”. It allows you to have that downtime with them, where you can sit and engage with them without other distractions. It’s also really comforting knowing that when they are very upset, that they can be instantly soothed by the boob even if they are not hungry. There’s also studies that show that feeding releases endorphins in us as well that help us to relax. As bubs get older, you might find they start to massage you as well as a form of comfort and it’s adorable.
The health benefits-Liquid gold as I call it. Breast milk has a lot of health benefits including increasing immunity due to the antibodies it contains and can also be used to help things like conjunctivitis/nappy rush and so on. I am not saying formula fed babies are unhealthy because I believe fed is best and I know the struggle. However, there is no denying that breast milk is pretty bloody amazing!
The accessibility- Whether you do it or not, you can get your boobs out anywhere for a feed and it makes a huge difference when your baby is screaming! I prefer to feed in a parents room or somewhere quiet but everyone is different and I totally respect mums who can feed anywhere. You don’t have to worry about bottles or waiting for them to warm to the right temperature. Boobs are immediate!
Savings- When Finn was on formula, it cost a fortune. Formula is like $20-$30 a pop and I’m sure we went through one every 7-10 days so that’s around $80-$100 a month. Boobs cost nothing (but maybe sometimes your sanity ?).
NO PERIOD!-One of the awesome things about being pregnant is NO PERIOD and guess what? Breastfeeding keeps it at bay as well. I am yet to get mine back so I have not had it for almost two years! so awesome. However, I know many mums who have still go theirs while breastfeeding so it doesn’t work for everyone.
What I DISLIKE
The PAIN-Breastfeeding isn’t easy for everyone. Some are lucky and others have real difficulty with sore, cracked nipples, thrush, mastitis and so on. These things can really make you question giving up and I have totally been there but if you can persevere, it does get easier. ? Also, down the track you have to put up with teeth and biting! Apparently a nipple is a great teething toy and it will definitely make you screech!
The Isolation– Many times I have felt like I am missing out on spending time with family or friends at events because I have been feeding and trying to get Leo to sleep. On Christmas Day, I had a breakdown because it was super hot and I basically spent all day in our bed feeding Leo trying to get him to sleep when his only comfort was the boob. I felt like I hadn’t had a chance to enjoy the day at all. Yes, I can feed with people around but Leo gets incredibly distracted so it is better for me to feed in a quiet place, which means missing out on a lot of banter. I am lucky Leo is a quick feeder so I am normally only gone for 15-20 minutes but it can still get a bit lonely.
There’s also the extensive planning and expressing for anytime you want to go out and that’s if you’re lucky enough to have your baby take a bottle. Then if you want to enjoy a glass of wine or cocktail, you have to plan meticulously so that it’s out of your system before your next feed. Gone are the days where you can go a little crazy on the old juice.
Engorged boobs- Wow. I never thought this would be as painful as it was the first time I got it but after a few hours of not feeding, your boobs become like giant hard rocks and you will do anything for relief. On my hen’s party, I had to escape to the bathroom to squeeze some milk out by hand in to the toilet to relieve the pain! Be prepared ladies (or try and fit a manual pump in your bag!)
Leaking- Yep, it’s not pretty when you realise that you have two big wet patches perfectly placed where your boobs are when you’re out shopping if you have forgotten nursing pads. THANK GOD for nursing pads! Saving my leaking boobs from day one (apart from the old slip).
Expressing- This is probably the biggest thing I dislike about breastfeeding. Expressing is a combination of isolating, painful (sometimes), unflattering and exhausting. Every morning and every night before work I get up and attach myself to this bulky loud machine at the kitchen table whilst I have breakfast and try and multitask feeding the kids, myself while pumping as well (Finn often laughs hysterically watching my boobs being tortured). I have purchased smaller and more mobile pumps for work, and again I have had to spend many a lunch break in a parents room on my own with a pump attached to me. Often I can pump for 10-15 minutes and get barely 50mls which can be quite discouraging. Obviously I have had to pump more because I am back at work and wouldn’t need to as much if I were still at home but to do anything socially, you need to have a supply kept in the freezer.
For those who are breastfeeding, I also know how hard it can be to find nursing friendly fashion and I have been trying out the Breastvest pictured in these photos. The Breastvest is designed for those times we are feeding in public and don’t have the most feeding-friendly top on or maybe you’re wanting to wear something cute but you can only pull it up to feed. The Breastvest is a undergarment singlet that is designed to sit underneath your nursing bra whilst covering your stomach so you can feel confident in lifting up your shirt to feed and not have to worry about bearing your stomach. It’s really comfortable and comes in black and white with a range of sizes. You can purchase it here.
I have absolutely adored my breastfeeding relationship with both my boys and am really proud of how far I have come with Leo now that he is almost one. I know that as my breastfeeding relationship ends with Leo, I will definitely feel a sense of sadness but I will also enjoy getting a bit of myself back instead of being a slave to the boob! Oh and enjoying a big fat glass of wine without a worry 😉
What do you love/dislike about breastfeeding? How long do you want to breastfeed for?
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