I can’t tell you how many times I heard this in my second pregnancy.
The look of slight disappointment when I told people I was having another boy followed by “oh, you’ll have to go back for a girl”. I mean, I hadn’t even had the baby yet guys!
I know it was meant well and always in a friendly manner but at a time when we are just happy to be growing this tiny human being, we don’t want our spirits to be dampened because the sex isn’t good enough. I’m sure mothers of girls get the same thing about having boys but I think as women ourselves we are somewhat expected to breed girls or we are not complete without having a mini version of ourselves.
When I first got pregnant I didn’t even think about the sex because as it was unplanned I was so focused on the health of my baby. Chance was desperate to have a boy and I was actually relieved to hear that we were having a boy just to make him happy ? He wouldn’t have cared either way as long as we had healthy babies but he was super happy when he found out we were having Finn.
When we got pregnant with Leo and before we found out the sex of the baby, Chance told me that he “only breeds boys” . I had a totally different pregnancy with morning sickness and different cravings so I wasn’t so sure.
When I found out that I was having another boy I was admittedly a bit shocked. Not because I wanted a girl but because I just had so many friends who had one of each that I kind of just expected it and also because of the difference in pregnancies. I immediately felt guilty for feeling shocked and focused on the fact I was having another baby boy!
However, that didn’t stop the comments from coming in as soon as everyone found out, many from customers at work, and many from friends and family.
“Ohh, you’re having another boy. Now you have to go back for a third”
“Oh two boys, my goodness”
and some even said “oh are you gutted you’re not having a girl?”
No, I was not bloody gutted. I was over the moon that I was having a baby boy and that I could even conceive another baby so easily that was growing perfectly.
Of course these comments meant well but they made me feel like having another boy wasn’t good enough and that made me sad. In a way, I kind of gave up telling people what sex it was because I wanted to avoid those comments.
I absolutely loved having a boy the first time around and to be honest I felt so at ease knowing I was having another one and it’s probably the same feeling for mums of girls. You love your babies no matter what but I was so used to having a boy that I was excited to do it all over again.
Let me tell you the wonderful things about having two boys.
Finn gets to have a brother and I can already see how unbreakable that bond will be by the way they look at each other. We all know that with out own siblings no matter if you love them equally you will nearly always have a closer bond to the same sex because you share many of the same interests. I am extremely close with my brother and sister, but my sister and I are like best friends.
I get to use all of Finn’s hand me downs, which has saved me so much money on clothes .
Boys are really low maintenance. They don’t need much to keep them happy and you don’t have the temptation of all the bows, tutus, and 100 different pink outfits (and that would totally be me with a girl).
Boys love their mamas! (and girls do too). Maybe it’s just because it’s all I know but both my boys have been mamas boys. They need me always and I always come first. I see it all around me with friends and family as well that boys always need their mums whereas girls are a bit more independent.
Lastly, when I laid eyes on Leo for the first time I fell completely in love all over again and as I have watched him grow so has my love for him (to the point where I can’t believe it’s humanly possible to love someone so much!). He is truly a mummy’s boy and we have such an amazing relationship that I couldn’t have imagined anyone else.
Would I have loved to have had a girl? Of course! The exact amount I loved having another boy. I would adore decorating a pink nursery, dressing her in bows and tutus (totally selfish reasons!). Would I love to have one if we went back for a third? Of course! But I would equally love having another boy and if we did decided to go back for a third it would be because we wanted another baby, not a girl.
I know as young teenagers, many of us wrote down how we expected our life to turn out. How many kids we would have, what gender they would be, who we would marry, when we would marry. It just doesn’t work like that.
I have been totally blessed that these two BEAUTIFUL baby boys chose me to be their mum. They are healthy and happy and they are my little prince’s and to them I am their queen <3
So, NO people I will NOT be trying again for a girl. Trying for a baby should NOT be about trying to dictate the sex because there’s a 50% chance you are letting yourself down and that’s just not fair on the child. If we decide to have any more (and I am still trying to convince the husband!) we will be trying because we want to have a third baby, boy or girl. If Chance’s breeding predictions are right it will be another boy and you can call me mother of boys.
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Katie B says
I totally get your point! the same happened to my sister when she got pregnant from her second girl …”so when are you planning to have a boy?” was the obvious question that she responded with a firm “NEVER, I don’t want to have more children”.
I think that the rest of us sometimes don’t realize how much effort you put into raising two children and the huge responsibiliti it carries. As I am their aunt I don’t care as long as I have a funny good time to play and kiss them …maybe that’s why I don’t understand yet, haha!
I have read that room temperature has an effect on sperm that permits to have either a boy or a girl … this has to be proven, but I hope that will help someone lol
sarah.lamont@hotmail.com says
Haha yeah I have heard of a few different hacks to determine the sex of your baby but who really knows if they ever work or if it’s just luck! either way, I am just grateful for healthy babies! 😉