Ahh we did it! We got married and the day was more than I could have possibly imagined it to be. It was perfect.
I am now in the post-wedding slump where I wish I could do it all over again, and I miss everyone like crazy and I miss all the planning! (Yes, I loved the planning part of it!).
Most people stress about wedding planning and yes of course the last minute things were stressful but I really didn’t find it as overwhelming as most people make out. I am super organised and I got most things out of the way early so I really didn’t have anything to worry about until perhaps the two months before hand where I had to bring it all together. I didn’t feel like I had one bridezilla moment (although Chance might say differently!) but I actually felt really chilled about it the entire journey with a few stressful days right before the wedding as we decorated and got the last bits and pieces together.
I planned our entire wedding myself (with my planner back in NZ) as Chance didn’t really mind what I did, although I did ask his opinion on most things. When the day came around it was absolutely incredible to see all my ideas, decor and planning come to life and it was exactly how I envisioned it to be. I had an abundance of guests tell me how amazing the wedding was and how good it looked, which made me feel even prouder of what we had achieved and all that hard work had paid of. The biggest thing for me was for my wedding to be intimate but really comfortable and relaxed for all my loved ones and I think we achieved that perfectly!
I also went over budget (which stressed me out) but in the end I wanted it to be absolutely perfect because I only wanted to do it once and I wanted it to be what I had dreamed it would be and it was!
So, now that it is all over and I obviously can’t do it all again, I want to help others who are doing it themselves! I have a lot of friends planning their own weddings at the moment and I know how much I researched prior to my own so I have put together a whole heap of helpful (or so I hope) information to make it easier for you during the planning process.
I have put in the title about destination weddings as that was what mine was, but nearly any wedding could benefit from these tips.
Enjoy xx
Hire a day of coordinator
Alright, so I said I planned the entire wedding myself which is partially true but I did get the help of a planner/stylist in New Zealand and I could not have done it without her. Living overseas makes it exceptionally hard to plan the smaller details on your own so I totally recommend hiring someone to help you with your vision along the way but also to do the decorating and finer details on the actual day itself so that you are not worrying about it (this is well worth the money so stick it in your budget). I hired Kelly from So Sweet Hire in Wanaka after a friend recommended her to me, and she was worth every cent. I wanted a modern romantic wedding and because most venues have restrictions on decorating I decided on a hall where we could decorate it ourselves. I then collaborated with Kelly on ideas for the theme. I did a lot of browsing through Pinterest to get some inspiration and saved pictures in to a folder with Kelly and then she added ideas as well. She worked within my budget to bring everything together by sourcing the best suppliers in the area for hire items and she also ended up doing my flowers, which looked amazing. She also had a range of awesome hire items from her own business that I could use. She was also very honest with me about stuff I probably didn’t need, which helped to save costs and worked really hard to get the things that I really couldn’t do without in to my budget. When it came to the actual wedding, she made sure the final pieces were all in place. We helped her the day before put the draping up and get as much done as possible (my bridal party worked amazingly hard) and she put the final touches together at both the ceremony and the reception. Whether doing a destination wedding or not, I would definitely recommend hiring someone to bring everything together on the day because that is a stress you should not be worrying about!
Book your venues 18 months in advance
I just told a friend to start booking now as they want to have their wedding next year and they didn’t realise about the importance of booking in advance. I started booking just over a year in advance and had a heap of trouble coordinating my dates for my ceremony and reception locations, hence why my wedding was in March (originally wanted February) but it totally worked out for the better as it was a slow start to summer. It will also depend on where you are getting married as we were opting for a popular wedding destination but you would rather be more organised and have the date you want than missing out. You can also have the ceremony and reception at the same place to make it easier to get the date you want but get booking (ceremony & reception first especially). For destination weddings, I would definitely try and get to the place at least once to scout out the venues you’re wanting as it really gives you a good idea of placement for decorations, chairs, arches and anything else during the planning process.
Be organised & write everything down
The more organised you are, the less stressed you will be. I had a book detailing everything I needed to organise, what suppliers I was using, how much everything cost, what I had paid so far and what needed to be paid, and things I needed to order or organise closer to the dates (message me for a template). I had a total stress-free wedding day and I thought I would be freaking out about everything but because I had been so organised, I got to totally enjoy the day knowing everything else was done. Book as much as you can in advance as things will book out quickly, especially during ‘peak’ season so jump on to your photographers, videographers as soon as you can (and as mentioned above, book ceremony and reception well in advance!).
Don’t choose your bridal party immediately and choose wisely
I know that with all the excitement of getting engaged, the first thing you want to do is ask your bestest friends to be by your side. I couldn’t wait and in fact I already had my bridal party made up in my head before I even got engaged. I was lucky enough that I have extremely close friendships that have been long-lasting so come almost two years later and everything was OK but I have seen it happen before where friendships fall out or the bride may have realised that another friend should have actually been in that position instead. I would suggest waiting until around nine months to ask them because that gives them plenty of time for them to organise themselves to attend but is close enough for you to feel secure that you won’t have any drama (you can still book your hair & make up and look at bridesmaid dresses whilst deciding on your final party). I also had a rather large bridal party and I didn’t think of the extra costs for having six girls. With the dresses, hair & makeup it all adds up so if you’re on a strict budget you may have to cut down on your numbers. If you can’t imagine eliminating anyone like me, then be prepared to add it in to your budget!
Be prepared to go over your budget
When I started planning our wedding I researched a lot and looked at the average cost of a wedding, which was around 35k (mine was 32k). I knew I didn’t want to spend more than 25k but as I started to gather the costs of just the basic necessities (in my eyes) I soon realised I would be going over my budget without even being elaborate. Things like videography, I forgot to factor in and so had to increase my budget because video was extremely important to me. I will do a post on things you SHOULD NOT forgo at your wedding, but definitely be prepared for things to add up really quickly and it’s all the little things you don’t think about that add the cha-ching. We also wanted to pay for all the bridal party outfits and hair & makeup and I know some people do ask them to pay for their own so if you are desperate to cut costs you could also do the same. I made sure I paid everything off as I went along so I didn’t have a big bill at the end. You also have to be prepared for last minute and unexpected costs like alterations, nails, tanning, ice for the catering and so on so I would suggest keeping $1000 in your account as a safety net. I will put a break down of all my costs and where I saved in another blog post for you soon!
Decide what is IMPORTANT and what you could do without
We all have these dreams of what our wedding will be like and sometimes we go a bit overboard in the “must haves”. At the start, I started writing all these things I wanted to have that I had seen on Pinterest and in reality they were so unnecessary and just wouldn’t have been used or noticed. At the beginning of your planning, decided what you REALLY want at your wedding and what you really probably don’t need. This is also where your planner comes in handy as they will be honest with you about what is probably not needed. At the beginning, I wanted a photo booth at our reception but instead I did a Polaroid guest book, which worked out awesome and it also meant people had time to actually catch up in between meals, speeches and so on. Also, forgo the favours because all I ever read anywhere was that most people forget to take them home or don’t use them. We did a small candy bar and that worked out really well as people could help themselves or take some home during the night. That was really cost effective as well instead of spending hundreds on individual favours. Also, I will talk about this in further posts but do not forgo a videographer, that video is something you will cherish forever. Also,make sure you go for a fantastic photographer because those are the memories that you will keep for a lifetime and show people in years to come.
Cut costs where you can BUT not on the important stuff!
I was very budget savvy when it came to most of the wedding and my planner worked with me to cut costs as much as possible. I tried to cut costs on the things that were least important to me, in order to save money for the things that were MOST important. Things like the wedding invites, Chance designed himself and we printed them as well. He also designed all the wedding signs and we got them printed through friends. I had a friend help with the platter for the ceremony and we just bought food instead of hiring someone to do the catering because we had a big dinner to follow shortly so it was mostly to allow people to snack. I also had my planner do my flowers, which was amazing. If you can, find people who can help out with things. You might have friends who play in a band or a family member in the food industry who can help with catering. Find friends who can do makeup or hair and they might give you a discounted price. Do your research! Get prices from a few different suppliers to find out who is more within your budget and if you find one you really like but they’re a bit out of your price range talk to them about where to cut costs and most of them will help you so they can still have your business. If it’s not much difference in price, go for the one you really want. It is your day and you want it to be perfect.
Delegate!!
I am terrible at delegating. Mainly because I am a bit of a control freak and I like to organise and do everything myself to make sure it gets done but also because I don’t like asking others for help as I feel like it is a burden to them. I even started planning my own hen’s party before my sister took over and told me to butt out (and she did amazing!)! Don’t be like me. People actually want to help you and I had lots of friends and family ask me what they could do for me. In the end, I knew I couldn’t do it all on my own so I did ask people to help out and my bridal party were amazing the few days leading up to the day with the decorating and any last minute things I needed to do. Nothing was a problem. Things like name cards, menus, canapes, drinks, table numbers, decorating can all be assigned to members of the bridal party, family or others who have offered to help. One of my bridesmaids told me that she preferred to have been given a job so that she knew what she had to do and she focused on that job rather than just been given lots of random things at the last minute so delegate! Also, the day before I just asked the bridal party (girls and guys) to meet up at the hall to help my stylist and get as much done as possible and they were fantastic. Get people on board, they will be happy to help you and you will someday repay the favour!
Be mindful of how much you’re taking on the plane
When having a destination wedding, you end up with a tonne of things you need to bring over that you may have organised from home. We didn’t really think about this too well and a lot of stuff really took up the weight in my luggage. If you can, get things sent directly to where you’re getting married and have someone store it for you. Otherwise, if you have friends travelling to the wedding with you, ask them if they could spare some space for a few little things. AND, just a note for the ladies, make sure you inform your airline you’ll be bringing your wedding dress on the plane as they need to make room for it. If they don’t know there is a possibility they won’t be able to take it (and that is a scary thought!).
Don’t stress if you can’t have a makeup or hair trial
I didn’t have a makeup or hair trial because I wasn’t going to be in the destination until a few days before the wedding and frankly it was an extra $200 I didn’t want to spend. I knew what hair and makeup looks I wanted and so I sent them through to my stylists months before the day and on the day my hair was absolutely how I wanted it and the makeup was perfect. At the beginning of doing my hair, my ponytail was a bit too tight at the back so I asked her to bring it forward more and it looked perfect so don’t be afraid to ask to change it a bit to suit you. You want to be 100 per cent happy with how you look as this is your day to feel like a princess!
Lastly, enjoy it!
Everyone will tell you it goes so quickly, and it does. But I already knew this so on the day itself I made sure to every now and then take a minute and immerse myself in the moment. It was so beautiful. The day before I was a stress-head with the last minute details and then the day off the wedding I was totally stress-free, it was amazing. Apart from running a bit behind with our timings (yes, I was late to the ceremony by 15mins!), nothing went wrong. I actually remembered the next day that I had forgotten a few little things ( like my garter!) but it didn’t matter because the day was so perfect as it was full of love and emotion and friendship. Remember why you are doing it and don’t sweat the small stuff as the things people remember most is the love in the room.
I will be posting more on our wedding when I get the photos and all our suppliers but if you have ANY questions, please ask away.
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