I think sometimes as women, we have pressure from society that if we are not loving pregnancy that we are doing something wrong. Too often do I hear from women (including my mum!) how much they loved pregnancy, and that it was so easy for them. I tell my mum that she probably just doesn’t remember what it was like! haha.
Don’t get me wrong. The process of bringing a child in to this world is the most amazing thing I have ever comprehended. The fact that our bodies can just grow and nurture this tiny little bean-sized baby in to a beautiful little human at birth is really just unbelievable. But, getting to that stage doesn’t always come easy and I feel like sometimes I just don’t enjoy being pregnant.
For starters, let’s go through a few of the things I have experienced and I know plenty of other mums have experienced that seem to come on just with pregnancy.
Firstly, that dreaded morning sickness (and it’s not just morning sickness at all!). From the minute you wake up until you lie your head on your pillow at night, the constant feeling of needing to throw up is hell. It becomes a huge effort to eat anything that doesn’t make you gag, and that usually tends to be carbs and only carbs which then brings on the never-ending worry. Is my baby getting enough nutrition??
The worry begins in pregnancy. Mine lasted a long time after Finn was born (anxiety over everything!) and I know the worry for my kids will never end but during pregnancy it simply becomes ridiculous. Did I just eat soft cheese by mistake? Will getting my hair dyed affect my baby? Can lying on my stomach hurt my baby (because I woke up like that!?) What about the fumes from cooking or the slightly burnt toast I ate this morning? Will the charred bits affect the baby? I accidentally had a hot bath before I found out I was pregnant-WHAT DO I DO?
Of course there are obvious precautions that we need to take when growing our little beings but these days the constant list of things we cannot do is enough to force any obsessive person like myself crazy. I admit it to everyone. I obsess during pregnancy. I google way too much and I worry about everything I eat, like the preservatives (did you know cottage cheese has preservatives?!). Lol and this is my second baby. Then I give up and eat a whole bag of crispy m & m’s. I am a bit more lenient with things this time around I still worry about most things and as much as I try not too, I think I have to accept I will always worry. However, I do need to stop being over-the-top about things because lets face it stressing can be worse for the baby than eating a bit of cheese or ham! Again this point relates to my previous post about supporting mums. We have to be careful about judging other mums during their pregnancy and the choices they make. I have seen pregnant mums do things that I wouldn’t do myself during pregnancy but I admire them for not worrying about such simple things and wish I was like that myself.
On a different note but kind of intertwined with the worry, is the hormones. Pregnancy can make you go well…crazy. It’s like PMS but tripled. You tolerance for things is far less than prior to pregnancy. You become easily frustrated and you’ll cry over the silliest things like who ate the last of the yoghurt?? Fortunately, this seems to come and go for me and other days I am my usual happy myself but I laugh when my colleagues at work see me walk in with a grumpy face and say things like “uh oh, the pregnancy hormones are on high today”.
You also might find you have really unusual dreams. Like REALLY unusual and you might wake up thinking they actually happened and let me tell you, that can cause some problems! haha.
Then comes the changes in your body. The boobs getting bigger. I mean, this should really be a bonus for me as I have always been lacking in that department and this is Chance’s favourite part of pregnancy lol but they can be uncomfortable and even hurt!
Then comes your growing stomach, and possibly bum, thighs and everything else. Let’s face it. It is hard for most of us to accept that we are going to put on lots of weight. Some of us are fortunate enough to only gain some and some of us gain a tonne. I must admit I have been much more easier on myself this time round in terms of just accepting that I will put on weight and I will just have to work hard when baby comes to get it off. I am eating well and eating when I am hungry and that’s what I have to do. I think the hardest part is when your stomach starts growing but it doesn’t look like you have a baby bump so people probably just think you’ve had too many burgers that weekend. I seem to take ages to grow a bump as I am quite tall so this is a battle for me as right now I just have a bit of extra flab. I can’t wait for the cute bump!
You then also have the cramping. Some mums might not experience this as bad, but I have had constant cramping from my uterus stretching and it can be bloody painful! Then what about pregnancy related haemorrhoids??? I mean, WHAT THE HELL? As if we didn’t have enough to worry about we then get these tiny little swollen veins in our bums that can cause the most ridiculous amount of pain when we have to go to the toilet. This is too much information I know but seriously, I had never even thought about ever getting haemorrhoids but hey they just come on with pregnancy! I can’t begin to tell you how embarrassing it is when you end up in hospital with your male midwife inspecting your bum for haemorrhoids to then prescribe you copious amounts of cream to apply to get rid of them. haha. I laugh when I look back now when this happened with Finn and I think even at the time I just had to laugh because I had no choice.
There’s also the frequent need to pee and the midnight wake ups to go to the loo which can be just exhausting. There’s the dry skin and stretch marks and the inability to put your shoes on because your stomach is too big that you can’t reach over. Oh, and don’t forget the waddle walk 😉
At 32 weeks with Finn I was diagnosed with cholestasis. A pregnancy condition that relates to your liver not being able to produce bile the way it is supposed too. This causes incredible itching in your hands and feet, so bad that I was up scratching in the middle of the night for relief. There’s also an 80% chance I will get it back with this baby so I am preparing myself for it.
To top it all off, there’s the labour. I won’t go in to detail here as I don’t want to scare anyone who is pregnant with their first babies but despite the pain it is incredibly empowering how strong we as women can be and what our amazing bodies and our mum’s and grandmother’s went through, to have babies. Whether you have a natural birth, a c-section, epidural or any other medication, all women are amazing and deserve a medal.
Don’t get me wrong. There are moments when I absolutely adore being pregnant. I love when the baby starts kicking, and I adore seeing our little creation on the ultrasounds doing flips and being adorable. I love hearing the heartbeat and I love singing and talking to my bump knowing my baby can hear my voice. There are also times when I forget I am even pregnant because I don’t have a bump and I’m so caught up with a toddler, which is great because it makes the time go faster.
So, my message to my other mummas out there who might be struggling like me, you’re not alone! I do get annoyed sometimes when I hear people tell me that there pregnancies were so easy and they had no problems but that’s not their fault. They were lucky! However many of us just don’t enjoy a lot of our pregnancy.We don’t need to pretend everything is wonderful and we shouldn’t feel guilty if our pregnancy is not as great as someone else. Everyone’s body is different, every pregnancy is different and the main outcome is that we have a healthy baby. Let me tell you now, that when that baby finally arrives, all the pain and worry you went through for those long long 40 weeks will be so worth it because of this indescribable, overpowering love, that it will almost be forgotten. Almost…
Love me xoxox
0
Leave a Reply