I had a moment of realisation yesterday.
It’s something I have known all along but I think yesterday it really hit home just how important it was.
I am talking about time.
Ever since Finn was born I have wanted him to have everything I didn’t growing up but all those things were materialistic. I wanted him to have nice clothes, the coolest room and all his favourite toys.
I have been careful not to over spoil him but as most people will understand when it’s your first child it’s really easy to do!
Of course, he is absolutely showered in love as I was as a kid and from that he has become a very sensitive, caring and loving little four-year-old. I believe he is very well-rounded and in touch with his emotions which for someone so small really is amazing so I am not worried about that.
However, yesterday when I had my day off work with him we had been out doing our errands and we got home after lunch time and I asked him what he would like to do. He said to me” mummy, will you play with me?” It wasn’t the first time I had heard it but this time it stuck. Every night when daddy gets home from work he will ask the same thing “daddy, will you play with me” and if I have to cook dinner and Chance isn’t home ye he will ask “but who will play with me?”.
All this little boy wanted was his mum and dad to play with him. It was our time that he wanted more than anything. He wanted our full undivided attention. I sat down with him to play and he wanted to build blocks. The pure delight in his little face to have me playing with him broke my heart because it made me realise just how much I didn’t play his toys with him because admittedly I find it boring or I am too exhausted being pregnant.
Also, I feel as if I sit down to play cars or build blocks, I usually have a million other things running through my head of what I COULD be doing like cleaning the house. But that stuff could wait.
I always take him out to do things or go to the playground, the zoo etc but what he really wants is just me and him. That one on one time was the most important thing to him. When he gets older it won’t be the cool birthday parties and the toys he had that he will remember most but it will be the relationship he has with us, the way we listened and communicated with him and how he always got to spend time with his mum and dad.
What I have learnt most from this is how invasive social media and technology has become in our lives and how it takes away from my time with him. I know it pays a big part in what I do from blogging but I need to realise the impact it is having and put my phone down when it is my time with him. You can learn so much from listening and having a conversation with your child.
It’s important for us to have time to ourselves as well, which is why Finn often has his quite time during the day where he likes to read his books for an hour while I catch up on my work and cleaning. After that though I aim to put away my phone and provide him with my undivided attention when he wants it. His happiness is far more important to me than what else is going on in the world and soon he will be older and won’t want to spent much time with me as I won’t be considered as cool. Soon he will also have a little brother to play with (I can’t wait for him to have a sibling!) and my time will have to be divided between the two of them.
I know things are easier said than done and reality is often harder than what we perceive. I think being a working mum has also always made me place more importance on the time I do get to spend with him which is why I always take him to do things or sit down and read to him or teach him how to read and write.
However, I think many of us could say we could all devote more time to our children, to listen to them and play with them and for them to have our full undivided attention. I aim to do this more from today.
Sarah xox
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